Some weeks,

are just not the same.
Take this week, there I was as busy as ever at work, thinking not long till the old holiday.
Till Thursday,,,, well I thought good an early one,
you see I had to be at the Dentists for 3.00pm,
so I left work early.
In my head I would be at home by 3.15 latest after a quick look at the old gnashers and brush up and then wait another 6 months.
How wrong could I have been.

Dentist,,, (lovely woman)had any trouble since I saw you last

Me,,,,,,,, none really just a but sensative around here pointed to tooth.

Dentist,,, lets look.

Dentist,,,, ohhhhhhhhhhhh,, you have a big hole in that tooth and it is above the gum line it will have to come out.

Me,,,,,, Ok yank it out, but which arm or leg would you like for me to pay for it.

Dentist,,, need to xray it first,,,,

Great bloody thing in mouth,,,,,,,,,,,,,, she and assistant run out of room like I had just farted.
then came back in to check resulting xray,,,, after much embarrasment apologises and puts film in this time, same again both run out of room Like I am a lepor.

There she says,, look at this, points to hole in my tooth on moniter,,,, it will "have" to come out.

Me,,, ok you have time now lets do it.

So after many injections and me slavering down my shirt and not knowing it I was ready.

Dentist ,,, can you feel this.

Me,, no thats just fine yank it out.

all the tools were laid by my side on the little tray (I thought they don't look big enough).

puts small lever in to the gum and trys to loosen tooth,,,,,, next forceps (she would have been better off with a tyre lever and mole grips).

She pulls and twists at the tooth no movement,,,,,,,she then gets bigger forceps and bigger levers,
nope this little bugger is in here for good, we breed em big and strong in Yorkshire I quiped, slaver still running dowm my chin.

Even bigger forceps called for ,,, tug ,,,, twist,,,,, crack,,,, oh I have just chiped your crown.

No,,,,,,,, not the tooth I wanted out, but the one on the tooth next to it the one I paid £60 bloody Quid for 10 years ago

More tugging,, pulling this time with assitant holding my head "CRACK",,,, Oh she said the crown has broke off.

I felt like the size of a small pebble as she fumbled in my mouth to retrieve it.
next came the drill I will have to drill now ,,,zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,,,,,,,zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,,zzzzzzzzzz,
a bit more prodding and pulling.
Dentist,,I will have to cut your gum to get to the roots

Me,,, ok just do it(by this time I was losing the will to live)

anyway after much pulling and prodding I felt one by one the roots come out.
There was a pile of tools on the bib on my chest a mechanic would have been proud of and it was Dentist 1 tooth 0.

Dentist,,,, do you smoke or drink

Me,,, do Bears shit in the woods.

Dentist,,,,,well you can't do either, I am giving you this prescrpition take all these tablets you must do all this stuff hands me a list.

Dentist ,,, you have just had a surgical extraction and its very important.

I looked at the list of tablets and thought bloody hell they are at least £6 each

Anyway I have now got a hole in my gum the size of a small country and stiches in the gum to boot and a damaged crown and I have to go back next week.

I was a full hour in that chair and my thoughts of a blissfull afternoon had gone.,,,,TBC.